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April 11, 2007
Carbonated Drinks and Global Warming
was sitting in the 757 returning from Minneapolis to San Francisco thinking about Al Gore's clarion cry that carbon dioxide is the prime cause of the dreaded epidemic of Global Warming that will lead to the destruction of all civilization, when the airline attendant opened a can of La Croix sparkling water for me and my wife, and I was looking into the bubbling waters in the plastic cup, when it struck me like a thunderbolt...
I was staring directly at the culprit. The sparkling CO2 in my water was the evil gas that was poisoning my future and the future of my grandchildren. (Never mind my vascectomy, think about the CHILDREN.)
And then I was thinking about all the carbonated drinks around the world (Cokes, Perriers, Champagnes, Beers, etc.) and all the cans and bottles that are opened every single day, releasing the dreaded greenhouse gas into the atmosphere. And all the people burping the greenhouse gas back out after drinking. It must be billions of cubic feet of bad gas every day.
It's time to call for the banning of all sodas, all beers, all champagnes, all sparkling waters, all drinks that have CO2 added.
And while we're at it, we must ban all CO2 cartridges used to propel projectiles out of CO2 guns.
We have to get ahead of this before we all die, die, die!!!
For the CHILDREN!!!
Posted by witnit at April 11, 2007 10:08 PM
Comments
.. you know, I always suspected that beer would be the downfall of civilization.... that's why I've always stuck to scotch.....
Posted by: Eric at April 12, 2007 5:36 AM
Okay, but still...no farting allowed!
Posted by: WitNit at April 12, 2007 10:49 PM
Good reason to start a push to recycle belches.
Posted by: Mahlon at April 13, 2007 10:45 AM
