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December 18, 2006
We Wish You a Merry...
lease accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Posted by witnit at December 18, 2006 9:15 AM
Comments
... dude, you are amazing....
... and by the way, I am incredibly offended by this post.....
Posted by: Eric at December 19, 2006 6:08 PM
As your may or may not know, Eric, we are not allowed at this time, or any other time, to take a position on your statement, espeically given post-modern and deconstructionist literary concerns about the irrelevance of the author. However, rest assured that we are perusing it seriously and using the Oxford English Dictionary to take into account all of the possible historical and antihistorical meanings. Once we have determnined the complete penumbras of nuances of sign and symbol, we will then write up a 1000-page report and send it to the proper authorities for review and comment. At that time we will then determine whether a more detailed response is required.
Posted by: WitNit at December 20, 2006 6:26 AM
Oh, and Merry Christmas!
Posted by: WitNit at December 20, 2006 6:28 AM
... you are killing me... heh!... enjoy Italy, my friend..... hurry back and safe travels.....
Posted by: Eric at December 20, 2006 7:01 PM
