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April 30, 2006

United 93

aw United 93 today. I recommend it if for no other reason than to put money in the filmmaker's pocket for reminding us that we are in a war. Lean, intense, uncompromising and manages to avoid cliches. No one will see it a second time, but it's interesting to see the view from the air traffic folks. The last 15 minutes are all from inside the plane, all the way down.
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April 27, 2006

Men's Club: I'm looking for Freedom--Can you direct me?

oday's topic: Why Men Won?t Ask for Directions While Women Will.

Well, some men ask for directions (not that I've met any).

There is actually a very good and very sophisticated explanation for this fact of male-psyche life.

It's because men are lines and women are circles.

You see, men have a natural orientation to the external, to explore, to pioneer, to manipulate the environment, to play with things, to engage in sports, to talk about politics and football and computers and their entertainment centers and to build complex machines that hurtle other men (and grudgingly women, but only if they don't act girly) into outer space. The line.

Women have a natural orientation to the internal, to nest, to make a home, to talk about their inner feelings, their relationships, what they think about everything, how others perceive them, what people must be thinking. The circle.

Men are comfortable with discovery and problem solving and taking something apart to see how it works and not talking about inner things like Why don't you ask for directions. They like the complexity of the external world. They hate the complexity of the internal world. They want the internal world to be simple. Yes, no, right, wrong, let's do this and get on with it.

Women are comfortable with security and knowing that things are in their place and keeping the external world simple, with only a single remote that has one power button, one volume button and one channel changer. They want the external world to be simple. They love the complexity of the inner world. The possible meanings, the subtexts, the implications, the dreams. Men hate that kind of stuff.

So why don't men ask for directions? Cause they like figuring out the external world on their own, they are solving it like a complex time-space problem, thinking about the GPS possibilities and the spatial relations of this street to that highway, and they will only ask directions if they are badgered into it by someone who wants to keep that external world as simple as a remote with three buttons.

Men love having four remotes with 100+ buttons. It's something to figure out and tinker with.

Not that there are many men who could explain it that way... Men are rarely skilled at explaining their own psyches. We hate that kind of stuff...And don't make me say it again!!!

Check out the Devastating Divas for their (inadequate and possibly male-bashing) opinions: silk, Phoenix, Theresa, and Arielle, as well as the Men's Club: Jim and James.

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The Princess

ome parents are just out and out stupid. Here's a girl whose parents think they are doing everything for her and instead they are setting her up for a life that will likely end in suicide.

What is happiness? Anyone who banks on happiness being tied merely to material success eventually ends up in the most unhappy of places. I alluded to what I thought true happiness is based on in my post The Company We Keep.

Happiness is not based on what you have. There are plenty of people who would be regarded by others as living in poverty who are genuinely happy.

Happiness does not preclude suffering. There are people who suffer but can still tell you they are happy.

A person can experience contentment and not be happy. A person can experience pleasure and not be happy. A person can experience satisfaction and not be happy.

The parents of the Princess in the article above think happiness is based on these things.

True happiness has more to do with a life well lived. For that reason, the young generally are never happy. Only those in later years who have a life dedicated to certain kinds of activities and service can make that claim.

The happiest family I ever came across was one that my wife documented with a DVD with interviews and pictures of their lives and the lives of their children and grandchildren all set to music. They lived well, they traveled, they served their children by instilling genuine virtues of love and risk-taking and thrift and service and family and friendships and adventure and a liberal education and physical and mental activity. These parents looking back on their lives, their children, and their grandchildren, could genuinely claim to be happy.

Happiness--a life well lived.

And pity the Princess. She knows not how she is being abused.


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April 26, 2006

Tony Snow

he Prez has named Tony Snow as Press Secretary. I like Tony. I hope Bush will let him communicate such things as

I also hope Tony kicks Bush's but about immigration and borders and over-the-top social spending. Tony could do Bush a lot of good. If you don't know him, check him out. He's much smarter and quicker than Scott M.

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April 25, 2006

Clowning Around

can relate to this guy:

The Easter Bunny has been fired — for losing his head. Arthur J. McClure, 22, who had been hired to play the Easter Bunny at a local mall has been accused of removing the head of the costume and hitting a customer, authorities said.

I once worked with a guy who was a magician/ clown/ entertainer/ ventriloquist. I learned how to apply clown makeup and do birthday parties, along with a few magic tricks. I'd also dress up as a Power Ranger, Santa Claus, and Batman. I'll never forget the 8-year-old kid who thought it a good idea to punch Batman in the family jewels. The parents apologized--but they were smiling.

As Santa Claus, the crowd was more adult and I was out of my league with pretending to be their man in red and white. Getting the women to sit on my lap. Doing my Ho Ho Hos. They paid up so they must have felt it was worth it.

I only did that for about six months. I really wasn't up to that kind of sporadic entertainment challenge. The one thing I discovered is how many people in that industry are angry people. (Some exceptions...some really lovely clown couples.)

Anyway, it was only temporary. My boss at that time told me a story later that had me splitting my gut. He had severe bleeding hemroids. So bad that at one time he had to be hospitalized and given blood transfusions.

Well, one day he's driving down a California freeway dressed as a clown on his way to a gig when he runs out of gas. (He was always running out of gas.) He was on the side of the freeway thinking about walking to a gas station when he started bleeding. He was bleeding so bad that he held onto the freeway railing because he was getting weak from the bleeding.

He realizes that he might die here on the freeway if he didn't get help, so he tried to wave down some cars, but everone only saw a clown waving at them so they waved back. And here he is going to bleed to death.

I forget how the story ended (I was laughing too hard.) Obviously, he managed to get help.

So let that be a lesson to you. Not every clown waving at you is happy.


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April 24, 2006

Vacancy

wake up and I automatically think about feeding Bugsy, then remember she's gone. I walk into the entertainment room and expect to see her lying in her accustomed spot on the back of the couch, but she's gone. We have a lot of useless catfood lying around. I watch TV and look over expecting to see her and she's gone. My wife had a dream with her. I haven't had any.

She was a stray that just showed up at our back door three years ago. I let her in and she never wanted to leave. She was a frustrating cat. We used to call her Danger, because she would occasionally decide to pee on the carpet even though we had a catbox. I can't stand the smell. When we kept her outside all night long, she would often wake us up between 4 and 5 in the morning. But then we decided that calling her Danger may just add to the problem, so we went back to the name my wife originally wanted to give her. She never changed her behavior.

We may have rid ourselves of her if she wasn't a perfect and loving lap cat. She was a stray, but loved our laps and loved being petted and purred all the time. So we were always torn between her bad behavior and her loving ways.

Well, looks like she solved that problem for us. Time to get a new carpet. Then maybe we'll go looking for a couple of kittens.


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April 21, 2006

Global Scaremongering

onah Goldberg has a great essay on the upcoming Al Gore movie, An Inconvenient Truth, a movie designed to scare everyone about Global Warming.

Again...

How can everyone be so silly? How can we expect the people who can't accurately tell us the weather 3 days from now to tell us how the climate will be 50 or 100 years from now?

From computer models?

Remember GIGO? Garbage In, Garbage Out. The great danger of computer programming.

We have a bunch of scientists who think they know enough about weather and climate that by putting a bunch of numbers into a computer, into a program THEY created, that they can generate an accurate and predictable climate far into the future.

Right. And Microsoft will make our lives easier.

Never mind that 60 climatologists from around the world wrote Canada's prime minister that "observational evidence does not support today's computer climate models, so there is little reason to trust model predictions of the future."

Never mind that in the last 8 years there has been no significant increase in global temperature (actually a minor decrease).

Don't tell that to Al Gore, the ex-future President of the United States who can only gain an audience by running around being the Premiere Elite Global Warming Scaremonger.

It's junk science galore. Just because everyone is saying it doesn't make it true. There's an inconvenient truth for you...

Just like the Population Bomb of the late-60s (remember when the world was going to face mass starvation?) or the Coming Ice Age of the early-1970s (remember that one?)

Everyone wants to fix the world. It's simply too much trouble for them to fix themselves.

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April 20, 2006

So Long...

...And Thanks For All The Fish

We had Bugsy put to sleep at 6:16 pm Thursday evening. Her kidneys were irretrievably damaged.

That's the seventh cat we've lost in the last 10 years. Now we have none. Time for a break and then we will think about meeting some new friends...


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Men's Club: Your Cheatin' Heart

"Would you ever get over a significant other cheating on you? Would you be able to stay with that person?"

Yes. No.

Some questions are easy, but due to circumstances, I don't feel very creative as a writer right now.

Check out the Devastating Divas for their opinions: silk, Phoenix, Theresa, and Arielle, as well as the Men's Club: Jim and James.

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Gut Rumbles - Rednecked

ow some varmints'd reckon thet Acidman on over at Gut Rumbles is a 100% authentic Georgian Redneck. Shet mah mouth! They'd be wrong, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!

Fo' a gan'er at whut a REAL Redneck Acidman'd soun' like, hoof it har.


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Pet Pain

e arrived home Tuesday evening from an idyllic week in Minnesota, including a couple of B&B days on the Chanhassen/Chaska border.

As usual, we had left our cat, Bugsy, outside for our neighbor to care for. My wife had someone working for her to come to her home office to do work while we were gone.

When we arrived Tuesday night, I heard one of those harsh, dying meows come from our bedroom. Bugsy lay there unable to move, dehydrated, looking like she was in a bloody fight with a square-inch of fur removed from her paw and blood on her mouth.

We took her to the 24-hour emergency vet hospital. They told us that the dehydration had gone so far that she was spitting up acid and that the blood on her mouth and bloody furless patch on her paw was from the acid.

I had no idea.

Somehow she got in the house without anyone seeing her get in. But there was no poop of pee anywhere and the food bowl was still full. There was no water.

I can't figure out what happened. If she got into the house healthy, then there would be evidence left behind. There is none. If she were outside, there's plenty of water.

My only guess is that she must have eaten something poisonous that started the dehydration process while she was outside, and by the time she got into the house it was far along.

She's been hospitalized for two days now. Today we should find out if she will survive.

From heaven to hell in one quick swoop. That's life, I guess...


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April 11, 2006

On the Road Again

leave tomorrow for a week in Minneapolis. (Minne = waters, polis = city: City of Waters)

Hope I have an Internet connection, but maybe not.

I'll do what I can.

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On the Road Again

leave tomorrow for a week in Minneapolis. (Minne = waters, polis = city: City of Waters)

Hope I have an Internet connection, but maybe not.

I'll do what I can.


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April 10, 2006

Parasites

o, I'm not going to talk about the Political Left. I'm talking about real parasites that infest humans when they travel to Asia and eat the food.

I think I caught one.

I've been having some slight nausea and occasional dizziness and bad gut feelings since I ate in a Japanese restaurant in Shanghai. It's the kind of feeling where, you think you're going to kick over into full food-poisoning mode, or flu mode, but you don't quite. And you think you're getting better but the next day it kinda returns and you wonder what's going on.

That's what it's like to have a parasite.

So I've begun taking daily doses of Cloves (kills eggs), Wormwood and Black Walnut Hulls (both kill larvae and adults), and Grapefruit Seed Extract. That combination is known to kill of over 100 kinds of parasites.

If you have a strong stomach and a morbid curiosity, you can see the most disgusting picture I've ever seen of a human infested with parasites here. WARNING: You will exclamate!

A parasite web page can be found here.

And if you've been eating questionable foods over the years and are thinking it might be a good idea to go on a parasite cleanse, here's the one I am doing.


1. Black Walnut Hull Tincture Extra Strength

Days 1 through 6: Take 2 tsp., all together in 1/4 (one forth) cup water. Sip it, don't gulp it. Get it down within 15 minutes. (If you are over 150 pounds, take 2 1/2 (two and half) tsp. Do not take more than 3 tsp. because no additional value has been observed.)

You can take 2 tsp. once a week as part of a Maintenance Parasite Program.

2.Wormwood capsules (should contain 200-300 mg of wormwood, see Sources):

Day 1: Take 1 capsule before supper (with water).
Day 2: Take 1 capsule before supper.
Day 3: Take 2 capsules before supper.
Day 4: Take 2 capsules before supper.

Continue increasing in this way to day 14, whereupon you are up to seven capsules. You take the capsules all in a single does (you may take a few at a time until they are all gone). Then you do 2 more days of 7 capsules each. Ater this, you take 7 capsules once a week as part of a Maintenance Parasite Program. Try not to get interupted before the 6th day, so you know the adult intestinal flukes are dead. After this, you may proceed more slowly if you wish. Many persons with sensitive stomachs prfer to stay longer on each doese instead of increasing according to this schedule. You may choose the pace after the sixth day.


3. Cloves (500 mg. capsules)

Grocery store ground cloves do not work! Either grind them yourself or get them fresh from a health food store.

Day 1: Take one capsule 3 times a day before meals.
Day 2: Take two capsules 3 times a day.
Days 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10: Take three capsules 3 times a day.A
fter day 10: Take 3 capsules all together once a week for a Maintenance Parasite Program.

Aintcha glad you tuned in today?


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Global Warming Stopped in 1998

hat's right. The average Global Temperature 1998-2005 has not gone up. It has in fact slightly decreased. Tell Al Gore, quick!

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April 5, 2006

Home Sweet Jetlag

ome. Jetlagged. Can't write. Took two minutes to write this without typos.

Blech!


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April 3, 2006

Older and Older

ow that I'm 50, on the other side of the half-century mark, I have so much to look forward to...a whole new level of humor:

***

I felt like my body has slipped totally out of shape, so I sought my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising... I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.

But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over!

***

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman asked, "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

***

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

***

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

***

I've sure grown old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind and can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I suffer bouts with dementia, have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, have lost all my friends.

But.....Thank God, I still have my driver's license!

***

A 97-year-old man visits his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."
"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"
"You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

***

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdale's department store.

"Bloomingdale's?" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdale's?"

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

***

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

***

A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."

***

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful!"

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April 2, 2006

Last Day in Singapore

omorrow morning we fly out at 6:45 am (via Hong Kong) back to SFO. That means leaving for the airport at 4:14 am. (whew...hope I can sleep on the plane).

Over the weekend we went to the Botanical Gardens and Orchid Gardens. Excellent! Not to be missed. We ate good food at the Red Star Restaurant (traditional Dim Sum, well worth the wait) and Pepper Crab at a restaurant near the hotel.

My hairdresser charged me with the task of finding her some specific 22k gold earrings and necklace. Can't get 22k in the U.S. for some reason. I checked Little India here in Singapore, but didn't find what I wanted. The concierge suggested Chinatown. Apparently the gold there is preferred and I found what I wanted (almost...I hope she approves...I spent about 570 in Singapore dollars, about $370 in US dollars I think.)

I also bought a 22k gold ring for mom. She's been asking for one.

It'll be great to be back home. Traveling is hard on the head and body.


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