On Sunday, one of our hosts took us to a couple of museums and to a Korean lunch. All good. Museums mostly bore me, all that OLD stuff. But I like beauty and there were some cool porcelain. Much of the art seems very similar to Japanese and Chinese art. My favorite in the museum turned out to be Japanese painting on a bamboo screen.

Why doesn't my company ever send me to Japan? (sigh)

Now I'm sitting in a Technical Presentations Skills course that I'm supporting. Still somewhat jet-lagged, but at least the consultant is smart and interesting. The first time round. We will do this again Thursday and Friday in Taiwan, then Sunday and Monday in China, then Thursday, Friday, and Monday in Singapore.

I think I'll find some other things to do on the reiterations. I may end up delivering a different Presentation Skills training for execs in Singapore. We'll see.

Ain't my life interesting? And you wonder why I don't write more personal stuff more often.

Maybe I should tell some more of my past lives.

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March 16, 2006

Men's Club: Does Size Matter?

The Devastating Divas may have more to say about size: silk, Phoenix, Theresa, and Arielle, as well as the small-sized Men's Club: Jim and James.

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March 15, 2006

Good Writing

Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin, the leader with the most important hair in Europe, pushed through a law which says that employers don't have to give lifetime job security to job applicants under the age of 26. Seriously. For the first two years of what the French call the First Employment Contract, employers can fire you if you don't do your work satisfactorily or if they can't afford to keep paying you. Of course, if you make it past those first two years, the smothering mothering of the crapulent French Au Pair State kicks back in and you never again have to worry about getting fired. You would have to be an on-the-job rapist or serial killer to get sacked. Even using the wrong salad fork at the company bistro wouldn't do it.

Ha ha!

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Penguin Dope Slap of the Week

Sen. Feingold introduced the motion and then left the Senate floor, leaving it to his fellow democrats to wallow and waddle trying to avoid looking like idiots. What a maroon.

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A Little Spat

hen Mexican couples fight:

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A Mexican couple were recovering separately after a marital spat got out of control and saw them firing guns, throwing knives and hurling homemade bombs, Mexican daily Milenio said on Monday.

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Headline of the Week

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Caring for the Wife When You Retire

DITOR'S NOTE: This arrived in the mail last month. We reprint it unabridged.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed my wife Sue was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she arrives home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do as one of my strong points...

And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf all day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal, I'm ready, if you know what I mean. Age has taken its toll on her so badly that she actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey!

Now that she is older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. Because she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.

Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them; you know.....get the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as well as men can. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf nap, so rather then bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take ‘em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too; then take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Sue. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...

Dick

EDITOR'S NOTE: Dick died suddenly Thursday, March 2, 2006. He was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Sue was arrested, but Judge Hilda B. East accepted her explanation that he accidentally sat on it and she was immediately released.

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March 13, 2006

Multitasking

fly to Asia Friday for a 2 1/2-week trip to South Korea, Taiwan, China, and Singapore. Above is a picture of me trying to get ready. May be light on the blogging for a while.

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March 12, 2006

Enter the Bloglet

Go read the Comments.

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March 10, 2006

101 Most Dangerous Academics

PDATE: Horowitz interviewed by NRO.

David Horowitz has published a new book: The Professors - The 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America. There's also a blog: Dangerous Professors.

You will find that many of these academics are involved in "Peace" studies, which often means apologizing for terrorists, seeing the U.S. as the real aggressor, and advocating pacifist stances that if adhered to in WWII would have meant the domination of the Nazis. You will also find racists who speak our against racism by demonizing other races, and feminists who barely disguise their hatred of men. And all of them will fill their classrooms with a kind of intolerant tolerance. Here is the list broken down by University. I'll be adding comments or links to let you know why each is dangerous (Not all of them are, methinks):

Arcadia University
Warren Haffar Haffar likens international terrorists to the American Indians, observing that, historically, ?they were looked upon as savages.?

Ball State University
George Wolfe ?Well regardless of how many students would be lost in the shooting there is no good reason to fire back.?

Baylor University
Marc Ellis

Boston University
Howard Zinn "Clearly, Bush is not trying to placate the population, but he is trying to placate his corporate supporters who will benefit hugely from military contracts and from his tax program."

Brandeis University
Gordon Fellman
Dessima Williams

Brooklyn College
Priya Parmar
Timothy Shortell

California State University, Fresno
Sasan Fayazmanesh "To follow the saga of USrael's attempt to use Iran's alleged WMD to overthrow the Iranian government, I will chronicle below a sample of news reports..."

California State University, Long Beach
Ron (Maulana) Karenga

City University of New York
Stanley Aronowitz
Bell Hooks
Leonard Jeffries
Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

Columbia University
Lisa Anderson
Gil Anidjar "Can anyone seriously claim that the problem with Islamic countries is Islam?"
Hamid Dabashi
Nicholas De Genova "a million Mogadishus."
Eric Foner

Todd Gitlin Former President of the SDS
Manning Marable Reparations for black slavery
Joseph Massad
Victor Navasky Longtime editor of The Nation

Cornell University

Matthew Evangelista

De Paul University
Norman Finkelstein Jewish elites have manufactured a Holocaust Industry.
Aminah Beverly McCloud

Duke University
Miriam Cooke Gives thumbs up to the Taliban
Frederic Jameson

Earlham College
Caroline Higgins

Emory University
Kathleen Cleaver Former Black Panther

Foothill College
Leighton Armitage "Of course [the Jews are] buying our elections, which really pisses me off."

Georgetown University

David Cole
John Esposito
Yvonne Haddad Islam's Sensitivity Trainer
Mari Matsuda

Holy Cross University
Jerry Lembcke

Kent State University
Patrick Coy

Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Noam Chomsky "It is important to be aware of the profound commitment of Western opinion to the repression of freedom and democracy, by violence if necessary."

Metropolitan State College, Denver
Oneida Meranto

Montclair State University
Grover Furr A Scholar for Stalin

New York University
Derrick Bell

North Carolina University
Gregory Dawes

Northeastern University
M. Shahid Alam Defender of Jihad
Elizabeth M. Brumfiel
Bernardine Dohrn Former Weather Underground member [This listing may be more appropriate under Northwestern University.]

Occidental College

Tom Hayden

Penn State University
Michael Berube
Sam Richards Penn State's Ward Churchill

Princeton University
Richard Falk

Purdue University

Harry Targ Not Dangerous?

Rochester Institute of Technology
Thomas Castellano

Rutgers University
H. Bruce Franklin Radical Marxist
Michael Warner Literary Theory and Queer Theorist

Rutgers University, Stony Brook

Amiri Baraka Who knew the World Trade Center was gonna get bombed / Who told 4000 Israeli workers at the Twin Towers / To stay home that day / Why did Sharon stay away

San Francisco State University
Anatole Anton Another boring Marxist

Saint Xavier University
Peter Kirstein "Why I am described as ?dangerous? is somewhat puzzling to me. After all I merely call for a communist America."

Stanford University

Joel Beinin He denounces American imperialism on Al-Jazeera TV.
Paul Ehrlich Always wrong all the time.

State University of New York, Binghamton
Ali al-Mazrui Another Jihad apologist

State University of New York, Buffalo
James Holstun Another boring Marxist

State University of New York, Stony Brook

Michael Schwartz Another proponent of The Military Is All Wrong All the Time

Syracuse University
Greg Thomas

Temple University
Melissa Gilbert
Lewis Gordon

Texas A&M University

Joe Feagin

Truman State University
Marc Becker "Believing that both the Iraqi people and the American people have the right to determine their own political and economic futures (with appropriate outside assistance), we call for the restoration of cherished freedoms in the United States and for an end to the U.S. occupation of Iraq."

University of California, Berkeley
Hamid Algar "You stupid Armenians, you deserve to be massacred!?
Hatem Bazian "How come we don?t have an intifada in this country?"
Orville Schell

University of California, Irvine
Mark Le Vine

University of California, Los Angeles
Vinay Lal

University of California, Riverside
Armando Navarro

University of California, Santa Cruz

Bettina Aptheker Another Marxist, and a radical feminist
Angela Davis A geniune idiot

University of Cincinnati
Marvin Berlowitz Another Marxist

University of Colorado, Boulder
Ward Churchill A profound liar and demigogue
Alison Jaggar Radical femnist

Emma Perez

University of Dayton
Mark Ensalaco Not dangerous?

University of Denver
Dean Saitta Another boring Marxist

University of Hawaii, Manoa
Haunani-Kay Trask Born in the San Francisco Bay Area but declares "I am NOT an American. I will DIE before I become an American!"

University of Illinois, Chicago
Bill Ayers "I don?t regret setting bombs."

University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign
Robert McChesney

University of Kentucky
Ihsan Bagby

University of Michigan

Juan Cole

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Gayle Rubin Lesbian feminist

University of Northern Colorado
Robert Dunkley Exam question: Explain why George Bush is a war criminal.

University of Oregon, Eugene
John Bellamy Foster another Marxist

University of Pennsylvania
Regina Austin
Mary Frances Berry
Michael Eric Dyson Attacks Bill Cosby

University of Rhode Island
Michael Vocino ?My name is Michael Vocino and I like dick.?

University of South Florida
Sami al-Arian Active supporter of terrorists

University of Southern California
Laurie Brand America bad all the time

University of Texas, Arlington
Jose Angel Gutierrez

University of Texas, Austin
Dana Cloud
Robert Jensen

University of Washington
David Barash Another "Peace Studies" professor

Villanova University
Rick Eckstein ANOTHER anti-war Marxist
Suzanne Toton More pacifist peace studies (and scaring students about a new military draft)

Western Washington University
Larry Estrada Does American Studies include white people?

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March 9, 2006

Men's Club: Admirable Celebrities

his week's Men's Club assignment: Identify one male and one female celebrity that you admire and explain why.

Huh...

Well, by "celebrity" let's assume someone famous in the entertainment industry. For a male, just because he's on my mind lately, I would have to say Simon Cowell of American Idol fame. (Bruce Willis would be my choice, but I already praised him in this context here.)

Each week he takes heaps of abuse from his fellow judges--Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson--from Ryan "Why Am I Famous?" Seacrest, and from the audience.

But the fact is, Simon strikes me as the only judge who is being straight and honest with the contestents. He gives them his honest reactions, including exactly what thoughts he has and emotions he experiences as he is watching the performance.

Where Randy and Paula try to couch their feedback trying to avoid giving their real responses, Simon lays it out clearly. What could be more valuable to performers than an honest reaction? When Simon says, "It was like a Karaoke bar perfomance" or "That song's too old for you," you can bet that's what he heard.

Randy and Paula schmaltz around trying not to hurt their feelings. Simon's not concerned about hurt feelings. He's telling his honest response, which every performer should be utterly grateful for.

And Simon does all this with everyone down on him for being something he's not--mean-spirited. Gotta admire that in him.

And as for a female celebrity? Patricia Heaton who plays Ray's wife in Everybody Loves Raymond.

Why? Because she also stands up and tells it straight. She'll be at a Hollywood dinner party with a bunch of Bush bashers and say, "I like George Bush" and watch everyone fall over themselves in shock.

It takes some guts (and success as a TV star, I suppose) to admit being conservative and NOT a Bush-hater in Hollywood.

I know. A couple of trivial choices. But we ARE talking celebrities here, right?

See what the Devastating Divas have to say about admirable celebrities: silk, Phoenix, Theresa, and Arielle. And of course, the remaining members of the Men's Club: Jim and James.

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March 8, 2006

Advertising 101

. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising. 3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.

4. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.

5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's Tech Support.

8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the centre and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" That's Spam.

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March 7, 2006

Giving Pills to Your Pets

ow to Give a Cat a Pill

1. Pick up kitty and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding a baby. Position the right forefinger and thumb on either side of the its mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding the pill in right hand. As kitty opens its mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow kitty to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from the floor and kitty from behind the sofa. Cradle kitty in left arm and repeat the process.

3. Retrieve kitty from bedroom and throw away the soggy pill.

4. Take a new pill from the foil wrap, cradle kitty again in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and kitty from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from the garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees; hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail; get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set aside the one for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill isn’t harmful to humans. Drink one beer to take away taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and, using soap and water, remove blood from carpet.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s garage. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot. Apply whisky compress to cheek to disinfect. Throw away tee shirt and don a new onw from bedroom wardrobe.

12. Call fire department and retrieve the mongrel moggy from across the road. Apologise to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from the foil.

13. Tie the little mongrel’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill onto mouth followed by a large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wahs pill down.

14. Consume another scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the Emergency Room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right ear. Call furniture shop on the way home to order a new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect the mutant monster moggy from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any guinea pigs or hamsters.

How to Give a Dog a Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

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Soft Europe

After two years of disastrous dialogue, and more of the same in recent days, we can conclude that no diplomatic initiative can stop Iran from getting the bomb. The International Atomic Energy Agency meets again this week to discuss the mullahs' nuclear ambitions, while Russia floats a plan to get Iran to enrich uranium on its soil. But before we got to this point, we had the Europeans in the starring role. The foreign ministers of the leading European Union countries--Britain, France and Germany--did try for years to persuade Iran to give up its nuclear ambitions, most recently at Friday's meeting in Vienna that ended up in yet another failure. But Iran knew all along that this threesome, formally the "Troika," had no real negotiating authority and would never resort to serious measures.

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March 6, 2006

Simile Alert!

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a reversing truck.

She was as easy as the Daily Mirror crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

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March 3, 2006

Coming This Summer

Stay Tuned. I'll be blogging here until then.

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Boo Movie

'll only have this link up for a week, so you may want to download it as you play. Worksafe, but you WILL laugh out loud.

Posted by witnit at 11:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Be Generous...

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The Hormone Hostage

ritten by an anonymous female identifying herself as the Hormone Hostage:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff......

..And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

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March 2, 2006

A Manifesto Against Islamism

et on board with the Manifesto now posted at Stop the ACLU! If you must ask why, read my posts on Future Jihad.

If you want to research potential flaws in the Manifesto, go to Paul Belien's analysis. Personally, the more I read Future Jihad, the more I suspect that Islam may be a totalitarian religion. I once read someone who described Islam as "Christianity without the love." That goes a bit too far, perhaps, but I understand the sentiment. Future Jihad describes a religious history that disallows Islam from transitioning to liberty in the way that Judaism and Christianity were allowed to do.

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Posted by witnit at 11:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Yes, I'm Bored Today

ou Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

Posted by witnit at 11:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Naturally...

ou Are 0% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

Posted by witnit at 11:06 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

See, Not So Scary.

ou Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

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Posted by witnit at 11:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Me? Evil?

You Are 44% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

Posted by witnit at 9:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ride 'em, Cowboy!

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Men's Club: Metrosexuals

his week's topic? Metrosexuals: Love 'em or leave 'em...

Metrosexual - Hmm...sounds like someone whose sexual orientation is limited to certain metropolitan areas. Let's do a Google search and see what we come up with:

"The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis ? because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables, media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and herpes, they're pretty much everywhere." ?Mark Simpson, "Meet the metrosexual," Salon.com, July 22, 2002

Ah, the pleasure of freshly scubbed and bloody skin...

Maybe the Devastating Divas and the other members of the Mahvelous Men's Club have more tolerance to talk about this weird cult of metrosexuals:

silk - A definite no.
Phoenix - Another definite no.
Theresa - It's nearly unanimous.
Arielle - Yep, it's unanimous, at least among the girls.

Jim
James - Okay, but still nada.

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March 1, 2006

Time for a Change

ome names are meant to be changed. (And some parents should be prosecuted! h/t Dave Barry)

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Headline of the Week

"Colon family in exploding toilet ordeal" (h/t Dave Barry)

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Future Jihad #5

uture Jihad #1, #2, #3, #4

This continues my discusion of FUTURE JIHAD: Terrorist Strategies against America, by Walid Phares.

Continuing with Chapter Two, entitled "Who Are the Jihadists?" Walid recounts the establishing and flourishing of "the greatest superpower of all time," the caliphate of the ninth century which spanned three continents. With its devastating fall in the 11th century, with Christians to the West and Mongols to the East, a radicalization occurred thanks to Ibn Taymiya, a scholar and chronicler of the 13th century.

What did he radicalize? The definition of "infidels." He states directly, for the first time, that there can be no peace with infidels. And thus was born an Inquisitian-like movement in Islam that allowed the declaration of takfir, wherein the caliph, his appointee, and approved Muslim scholars could declare the "demonization" of infidels, including fellow Muslims like the Sunnis. "In simple terms, the takfir doctine was a weapon of incrimination against the enemies of the Islamic state."

What this means, according to Walid, is that "the introduction of jihadism and early salafism by Ibn Taymiya and others, when combined with the collapse of the Arab caliphate, put an abrupt end to the developing jurisprudence and replaced it with a discretionary power at the level of the caliph--in addition to the growing influence of the state clerics.

In other words, whereas in the West jurisprudence advanced political culture and scientific discoveries, that evolution was halted in Arab Muslim culture.

This froze them in the Middle Ages, unleashing "an eight-hundred-year-long" jihad movement.

"When Osama bin Laden travled to Afghanistan eight centuries later, he was executing the orders of Ibn Taymiya: fighting infidels, reestablishing the pure Islamic state, and laying the groundwork for the return of the caliphate." p. 56

"The doctrine of Ibn Yatmiya and the takfir and jihad currents never disappeared. The Dark Ages stretching from the burning of Baghdad in the thirteenth century and until the end of the Mameluk dynasty in the sicteenth saw the growth of intolerance and spread of raw jihadism....Surging from the rubble of the caliphate, a harsh and extremely radical dynasty--the Mameluk--extended its power from Egypt to Syria....this Sunni dynasty turned against all non-Sunni minorities--Shiite, Druse, Christians, and others--in the regions of its influence....The new order of the Middle East in the Dark Ages bears a sinister resemblemnce to the Afghan, Sudanese, and (albeit shiite) Iranian regimes of the twentieth century. What bin Laden and Zarqawi are killing for in the early twenty-first century, regular armies and states had applied as policies from the fourteenth to the sixteenth centuries." pp. 56-57

Again, anyone who thinks the current struggle has anything to do with current politics, oil, or mere American presence around the world is sadly deluded.

More in Future Jihad #6.

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Damn, It's Good To Be a Man

our last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt in the rain.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another service station because this one's just too icky.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress costs $5000; Tux rental is $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to ask you: "So, notice anything different?"

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking, "He must be mad at me."

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

You don't have to wonder which wallet has your driver's license.

One mood, ALL the damn time.

Damn, It's Good To Be A Man.

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