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May 26, 2005
Armageddon and LSD, Part 2
ome more experiences I remembered since yesterday:
- All the cells in my body have turned into liquid. They are in a constant Brownian Motion of dance. i close my eyes and my body dissolves into a million ever-exploding fireworks. The music echos through the canvernous space between each cell, flashing reflective jewels of color. It's the lightshow to end all lightshows.
- Somebody says something sinister, and everything in the universe turns dark and foreboding. If i imagine that someone is after me, i can feel them everywhere. My experience is susceptible to suggestion only to the extent that i allow it. i laugh at the sinister and it melts away. The bright happy universes revolving and evolving without and within in me return, and all the universes are in balance.
As I say, all good things must come to an end. After 100 or so of these intergalactic, interplanetary, interpersonal, innerspace journeys, I got bored. Hard to believe, but I began to see that it was like spelunking. Sure, it's a beautiful cave, but it's still a cave. I was dependent on some chemical for these experiences. I recognized that it opened fascinating doors, even ones that transcended everyday reality in terms of apparent psychic and out of body experiences.
But it was still a cave.
Near the end, I was talking about God again. My mind and sense would be blasted all over the universe and I would say something like, "Hey, this has something to do with God" and they'd say, "Shut up, Mark, and listen to the music." Not as interested in exploring the experience philosophically.
I think if I could say one good thing about LSD, it allowed me to break down fundamentalist barriers and open doors to thinking that the universe might actually be a lot more interesting than daily life reveals, with its human comedies and tragedies.
I began having a strong desire to understand what the hell was going on. And somehow I didn't want it on the authority of anyone. Not on some sacred text. Not on some priest. Not on some religious dogma.
I wanted direct, personal experience, and I wanted some way to verify it to myself.
Thus was born my interest in the Micro-Scientific Method, which I only named many years later as I understood what it was I was doing.
As I've said before, the standard Macro-Scientific Method is used to prove in a repeatable way truths to OTHER people. By definition, it can only be applied to that which submits to being measured in such a way that it can offer PROOF TO OTHERS.
Thus, the standard Scientific Method is limited to material questions, questions that can submit to an external quantitative consistency.
The Micro-Scientific Method is not about proving anything to anybody else. It applies only to the subjective realm. It applies only to what you can prove to yourself. It deals in that which is not material: subjective experience, directing knowing, truths that ARE truths, but inaaccessible for the most part by others.
For example, I did something last night when nobody was around. I cannot prove what I did to anybody, but I know what I did. It is not any less true because I am the only one who knows it.
And I think a lot of what it truly important in our lives dwells in these personally knowing realms, yet so much of it seems to be dismissed by some influential scientists who conveniently want to dismiss so much outside of their experience.
For example (and here's where I start to test my readers' sense of my credibility), I once had a dream many years ago in which I had rather ravishing sex with a woman who in my waking life I would never have thought of in that way. Later, she and I had a conversation where she started talking about this dream. It didn't take long for us to realize that we both vividly remembered the same details. We were embarrassed and astonished at the same time.
That's when I started to look at my dreams more seriously and begin to test which ones truly involved other people and which ones were merely my own projections. I think we all have had different qualities of dreams that we recognize: some vivid, some chaotic, some seemlingly real, others caricaturish (and I know there is a lot of New Age nonsense out there about dreams...I for one believe that I have to learn to interpret my own dream symbols...that books can often lead us astray with the symbols that mostly apply to the writer).
Anyway, the thing about psychadelic drugs is they proved to be a testing ground for determining what was real and what was illusion.
On a side note: Pot, Marijuana. Widely regarded as harmless, that should be legal. Well, i disagree. Pot has an insidious side to it. I strongly believe, based on my personal experience and watching those around me who have smoked it regularly for decades, that pot stunts your emotional growth.
My brother starting smoking pot at 16. He never stopped. He is now 47 years old. He still has the mentality and emotional maturity of a 16-year-old.
There is something about being LOADED, STONED, FUCKED UP, with short-term memory clogginess that somehow keeps you from growing into full maturity.
Just my humble opinion.
Someday, I'll write about my first real fight: having to punch my brother and holding him down with a bloody broken nose until the cops could come, handcuff him, and take him away...
UPDATE: I forget to mention the dark side: LSD is best for people who understand that they are in full control of the experience (assuming the dose is not cut with Speed or something more pernicious). LSD opens areas in your perception that are highly malleable, highly suggestible. If your mind directs you into places where snakes and spiders lay, you will experience snakes and spiders. If you are paranoid, you will experience full paranoia. But you can walk out of any hell or any desert you find yourself in, just with a thought. If you carry a victim consciousness, LSD will drive you nuts. Overall, without a guide, a full dose of LSD is a very dangerous thing.
*** I hide things from you that I wouldn’t dream of hiding from anybody else.
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Posted by witnit at May 26, 2005 3:00 PM
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