« Revenge of the Meme | Main | Hearts, Brains, and Guts »
April 25, 2005
Acidman Commits Blog Suicide
incon, Georgia (WitNit Newswire) -- Rob "Acidman" @#$%&* of Gut Rumbles committed blog suicide today, according to Georgia State Trooper Roger Humpen.
"It was terrible," said Humpen. "When we arrived, we found a woman who will remain nameless who apparently thought that Rob was Pinocchio, because we found her sitting on his face yellin' 'Lie, you bastard, lie!'"
The state medical examiner revealed that the cause of death appears to have been self-inflicted snappin' pussy.
"I really don't know how to explain this," said Chief Medical Examiner Nick Rofilya. "It's the first time I've ever seen such a thing. In case it was murder, we have four suspects, not to mention his his ex-wife, the prime suspect."
A suicide note was found at the scene by this reporter, and is reprinted below:
Wimmen Did It
Real men once adored me and my blog
I'd swear and spit like a hog on a log
But now all these wimmen
Got our heads a' swimmen
So fuck it, I quit, I'm nobody's dog.
Blog acquaintances were on the scene and offered their comments.
"He seemed so like a non-misogynist only a couple of weeks ago," said Sadie. "I wanted him to be my Daryl. Now what will I do?"
"Oh, the poor darling," said Christina. "I bet all he needed was a hug."
Silk was seen poking him with a pin and mumbling, "Are you sure he's dead?" while Kathy commented, "About time he whupped his own ass!"
Finally a bunch of men strolled in led by Dax who carried a kegger and yelled out, "Just damn! Get these wimmen outa here. We gonna tie one on for ol' Acidman and send him off with appropriate mass drunken stupor."
Funeral services have yet to be announced in the event of resurrection.
--------
Posted by witnit at April 25, 2005 6:38 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.witnit.org/cgi-bin/mt-t071875.pl/702
