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February 21, 2005
Karl Rove: Criminal Mastermind
ashington, D.C. (WitNit Newswire) -- Karl Rove, President Bush's chief strategist, has once again been exposed as a criminal mastermind, reports Democrats in Congress and throughout the land.
"We now have solid evidence supporting our rumors," said Congressman Erasmus B. Burnan, D-Vermont, at a press conference today.
"Rove was responsible for the Osama bin Laden tape that won Bush the election. He forged the National Guard documents that brought down Dan Rather. And he inspired the brainwashing that led to the mistakes John Kerry made in his campaign.
"Karl Rove has also been linked to the Paris Hilton video and to the release of multiple Hollywood star phone numbers being transmitted on the Internet."
Karl Rove was reached for comment, saying only, "Huh?"
Congressman Burnan continued: "He has conspired with Saddam Hussein only to betray him. He drank whiskey with Hunter S. Thompson and then shot him only to make his death look like a suicide. And he is positively linked to prostate cancer in men and women."
Karl Rove, when asked about these statements, said, "Wha...?"
"He is also the devious mind behind this." Congressman Burnan held up a photo taken in Karl Rove's white house office. A closet door is shown open with thousands of socks spilling out.
"Yes, my fellow Americans. Karl Rove is the culprit behind the nationwide epidemic of socks lost in dryers."
Karl Rove could not be reached for comment.
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*** Why should we bother to reply to Kautski? He would reply to us, and we would have to reply to his reply. There's no end to that. It will be quite enough for us to announce that Kautski is a traitor to the working class, and everyone will understand everything. Vladimir Lenin
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Posted by witnit at February 21, 2005 5:09 PM
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